Most Common Misconceptions Around Boudoir

In the time I’ve been a boudoir photographer I’ve heard tons of reasons why clients haven’t booked a shoot yet. I’ve also heard the way people view or discuss boudoir. I had a presentation within a leads group with other business owners and wanted to share that same info here for other people to benefit. So in this article I’m going to tell you the most common misconceptions or reasons why clients hesitate on booking a boudoir shoot and my response to each of them.


  • Need to lose weight
  • I’m too old
  • I’m not sexy/confident
  • It’s porn
  • My family/friends wouldn’t approve of me doing this
  • You have to be naked
  • I’m not photogenic/don’t know how to pose/not a model

My Responses to Each of Them

Reason 1: I need to lose weight.
There are a lot of excuses that come along with I need to lose weight first. There are excuses such as I need to lose 10 more pounds, I need to go on a diet or I need to lose the baby weight or whatever other weight related excuse is used. Society has taught us if we are a certain size, a certain build or possess certain physical attributes, that we are not sought-after, adored, desired, or “sexy“. Those are all lies as part of a façade that society has put up and boudoir photography is one of the biggest ways to change the mindset in the modern world.

Reason 2: I’m too old
Age is just a number. Seriously. Right after thinking you’re not fit enough for a boudoir shoot is thinking you are not in the right age group. Are you too old to feel special? Appreciated? Beautiful? NOT. AT. ALL. I would love for all women to embrace who they are throughout life’s many beautiful stages. Sure, you may not be that same girl as you were in your 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. When working with me, you get to choose how you’re styled in a way that makes sense to you. Obviously I’m there to give suggestions and help guide you to creating the best images but at the end of the day it’s all you. Age is not our enemy.

Reason 3: I’m not sexy enough/not confident
The 3rd biggest excuse I get about not doing a boudoir shoot is women saying they aren’t sexy enough or they don’t have the confidence. That couldn’t be further from the truth. You are sexy. I’ll be the first to give you permission to celebrate who you are with the body you have RIGHT NOW. You can do a session today, and then again (and again!). It’s loads of fun to see you change and evolve through the years. There are different beauties and moments to treasure in milestones… and no one can define what a “milestone” is for you. You can and should celebrate your life every time you decide. 
Recently had a baby?
Survived the toddler years?
Survived the teenage years?
Turing 40?
Survived homeschooling and COVID quarantine?
It’s ALL a reason to celebrate. I want you to think for a moment, compared to what standard are you not sexy? Society’s bullshit standards I talked about a minute ago? Ignore that. None of that is real or accurate. This perpetuation that if we aren’t a certain size, weight, age, ethnicity, etc is bullshit. I can help you see yourself in a different, more forgiving, and more accurate light than you can see yourself. Let me help you shatter your negative self-talk and help you create new, positive feelings about your body and yourself. 

Reason 4: It’s porn
It’s an occupational hazard that people in the world think that what I do is porn. There are big differences between boudoir and porn. There is a genre of photography that is called erotica and that involves pornographic scenes and that *can* be considered porn but it is still slightly different for various reasons. I won’t get into that because that is not what I photograph nor do I have expertise there. Boudoir is women in lingerie and/or nude with many different backdrops, locations, etc. You can also do boudoir in a sweater, underwear and knee high socks. Boudoir is meant for intrinsic beauty not arousal. Now, can it arouse someone? Sure, absolutely but the intent is for women to feel beautiful and learn to love the skin they’re in. 

Reason 5: My family/friends wouldn’t approve of me doing this
Well…Honestly? That’s just too damn bad for them but here’s the bright side; you’re not doing it for them! *Queue a big, mischievous grin* You’re doing it for YOU. 
You don’t need anyone else’s approval but your own. Even if your significant other does not appreciate or support the opportunity for you to feel special, confident and beautiful, that is their unfortunate choice. You are your own person, with your own emotional, mental, and physical needs. You owe it to yourself to experience everything you want in life. Do it for you. Like so many other things in life, you’ll never regret doing it, but you likely will regret NOT doing it for the wrong reasons.

Reason 6: You have to be naked.
You don’t have to be naked/wear lingerie. My clients specifically either shoot in lingerie or nude but we obviously throw in some shots with jerseys, sweaters, robes, etc. It can be done in normal clothes but that is considered more “glamour” photography. So, no, you don’t have to be naked but I have tons of information for clients about what to wear, where to shop, what’s flattering for different body types, the list goes on. I make sure that you feel comfortable in what you’re wearing even if lingerie isn’t something you’re well versed in. 

Reason 7: I’m not photogenic/don’t know how to pose/not a model
I’m not photogenic, I don’t know how to pose like that or I’m not a model. GREAT! Even better! I am here to pose you from head to toe. I work with real, everyday women not models. I will show all poses before I have a client do it and then when it’s their turn I coach them all the way through from the angle of their head, hand placement, back arch, shoulders and most importantly facial expressions. You will never be left guessing what to do. 

Have you ever said one of these? If so, I think it’s time we talk *wink, wink* 😀 Check out my promo video taken in early 2022 as a little sneak peek into your session! <3

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